Geneva. Seat of the original League of Nations, home to the United Nations and base for dozens of organisations working for a greener tomorrow.
And right now, it is also home to a load of scantily clad ladyfolk luring bedazzled and sweaty auto-enthusiasts into the charms of Cars.
Yes, it's motor show time, and it's a big ’un. Lamborghini, as always, stole the show with the new Aventador, but Alfa threatened a David-and-Goliath-shaped upset with its diminutive 4C concept - arguably one of the standouts.
You've seen the big-hitters, but we've decided to crawl among the cracks to bring you everything in between. Click forth, Internet hound, and seek new metal...
Bentley Continental SS Convertible Ice Speed Record
Juha Kankkunnen drove this here Bentley to a new ‘ice speed record' which, as you guessed, is the fastest a human can keep his nerve on the frozen stuff. He topped 202mph. Some say, parts of Juha's anatomy are coated in unobtanium...
Lotus Evora Enduro GT
A Lotus Evora, after crashing through a motorsport shop. Will form the basis of upcoming Nurburgring 24 Hour racer.
BMW Vision ConnectedDrive
This Beemer - previewing a small two-seat roadster to rival the TT - houses terrifying technology including satnav directions in 3D vision on the actual road. And the ability to read your mind, probably.
BMW 1-Series M Coupe
It's nearly coming... it's nearly coming...
Read the full story on the 1M Coupe
Weismann Spyder
The ice-cold Weismann Spyder pinches the V8 from the M3 and sticks it in a body weighing roughly 1,000kg, meaning a top speed hovering around 175mph and a close relationship with your heart surgeon.
Bertone B99
This is how Bertone reckons a Jag should look, fusing elements of the old XJ into a two-door body. Good effort, we say.
Citroen Metropolis
This hybrid beasty was styled in Citroen's Shanghai studio and is huuuuge - at 5.3m, it's longer than a LWB Audi A8.
Abarth 695 Tributo
180bhp from a spanked 1.4-litre engine and a shouty exhaust looks promising, with body gubbins inspired by Ferrari. Costs nearly 30k, since you're asking.
Aston Martin Virage
BRAND NEW ASTON! Something to slot in between the DB9 and DBS, apparently. Tomorrow: How To Sniper A Wolf's Nose While Running In Pack Formation.
Ferrari FF
New Ferrari makes its show debut. Red...
Ferrari FF
...or white?
FAB Design Panamera
Pretty sure there are ancient scriptures warning us about this.
Pagani Huayra
It's unpronounceable. It's exquisite. And it's in Geneva, which means it's time for another picture. Dream, puny earthling, dream...
Read the full story on the new Pagani
Porsche 911 GT3 R Hybrid
The future of Porsche performance is a no-joke, balls-out hybrid racer. Like.
TG drives the GT3 R Hybrid
Fiat 500 Zagato
The cutesy 500 gets turned into a coupe. Interesting...
Morgan
A three-wheeled Morgan in Spitfire livery. Magic.
Sbarro Evoluzione
180bhp Audi 1.8-litre engine housed in what looks like an angry Transformer. Autobots! Roll out!
RUF RT12R
Track-focused racer gets 730bhp, 693lb ft of torque and a wing to make you feel very inadequate.
Renault Captur
This is supposed to be the DeZir's sensible brother. Butterfly doors and a 160bhp twin-turbo diesel with a claimed 99g/km of CO2.
Read the full story here
Nissan Esflow
A zero-emission, sports car concept designed to be ‘an extension of your body, reacting to your slightest whim'. Think about that last sentence carefully...
Read the full story here
Mercedes SLS AMG
Gullwinged hunk of Teutonic brilliance. See what our Jezza made of the mighty Merc here.
Mercedes C63 AMG Estate
Freshened up C-Class estate gets public outing. New face, some aluminium, seven-speed AMG Speedshift ‘box and optional 487bhp with the Performance Pack.
New Merc C63 revealed
Lexus LFA Nurburgring Pack
Mostly-Orange celebration of LFA taking on the mighty ‘Ring. Just 50 will be built, power rises to 562bhp and you get bigger spoilers, a fixed wing and side fins. Also instruction on how not to bin it on a wet roundabout in Slough.
Lexus LFA Nurburgring announced
Jaguar XKR-S
XKR escapes to Muscle Beach and comes back with 542bhp and 501lb ft of torque: 0-62mph in 4.2 seconds and a top speed of 186mph. Oversteer as standard.
Jag reveals the XKR-S
Infiniti Etherea
Infiniti reveals its take on what a luxury premium hatchback should be. With a name like invasive surgery. Read the full story here.
Koenigsegg Agera R
More powerful version of already-quite-powerful hypercar: 1,115bhp on bio-fuel, thanks for asking. Customer car on display in Geneva even gets roof box.
Read the full story here
Citroen DS4
The C4's high-fiving, bubbly, outgoing sibling. Has GSOH and is excellent with pets.
Read the full story here
Bugatti Veyron Super Sport
You know the score.
Captain Slow drives the Veyron SS
Abarth Scorp-ion
Abarth persuaded some students at the Instituto Europeo di Design to design an electric supercar. Possibly with chips. The electric power is apparently ‘decentralised' to each wheel, leaving more space for luggage and limbs.
Ford Fiesta RS WRC
Replacing the Focus WRC is this nugget of rally madness - 1.6-litres of turbocharged loonery.
Alpina BMW B5 Bi-Turbo Touring
We likes this Alpina muchly. 507bhp and 516lb ft of torque from BMW's twin-turbo 4.4-litre V8 behemoth in the body of a 5-er Touring. 20s and an Alpina kit only sweeten the deal.
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